“Put yourself out there.”
“Talk about your common interests.”
“Ask what they’re looking to get out of a partnership.”
In 2022, the approach to embarking on new relationships follows a similar development pattern regardless of professional or personal situation: client and sales rep, manager and team member, entering the dating scene, even making new friends as an adult. These types of introductory questions are meant to find commonalities between two people that help connect one another like the links of a chain.
But in each scenario, common denominators also arise that help to forge even stronger connections outside of individual passions or career interests — authenticity, honesty, transparency and respect all determine the strength of the chain’s support and how far its reach can go.
According to a 2017 study conducted by Society for Human Resource Management, 61 percent of participants attributed that trust between senior management and an employee was a significant contributor to job satisfaction. Without the essential qualities of reinforcement like trust, the chain can break — and in the field of tech, that manager-employee relationship can impact components ranging from day-to-day job satisfaction to significant opportunities like career development.
So when a new manager starts on the job, how can a direct report form an authentic connection that’s built to last instead of falter?
For Drew Bradbury, head of talent acquisition at DAT, it starts by asking exactly how you can help. “There’s a confidence that you build with your boss when your initial message is some version of ‘I’ve got you covered — let me carry the load,’” he said. “Your boss will immediately start to feel they can rely on you.”
To learn more about how individual contributors can best navigate relationships with their managers in order to achieve growth and create a thriving work environment, Built In Colorado connected with Bradbury and Invenergy’s Manager of Business Applications Lynette Biers. While leadership styles may vary, one thing remains constant: Building a rapport out of trust and respect will likely “never break the chain.”
Invenergy is a global developer and operator of sustainable energy solutions.
What is the best question to ask a new manager to get to know them?
“What is your favorite project you’ve worked on here at our company and why?”
This question will allow your manager to share with you their passions as they pertain to work, tell you what excites them about their job and keeps them coming back every day, provide clues about how they measure success or accomplishments, and give you an instant insight into the qualities they value about their own work and the work of others.
You can tell based on their answer what part of the work gives them energy: Maybe it’s the details of the work itself, how the end results benefits others or perhaps they loved the collaborative nature of the project. Sometimes this question also opens the conversation to discuss tasks they didn’t enjoy or parts that were frustrating to them. All of this information can help you create a foundational understanding of your manager, but it also provides an opportunity to ask more questions to continue to learn about them and evolve the manager-employee relationship.
What’s one action a direct report can take to build trust with a new manager?
Exercise your active listening skills. Starting with “what I just heard you say was” and repeating back your understanding of the conversation will highlight any misunderstandings or miscommunications that need to be resolved. Active listening shows that you are engaged, you want to understand the direction or tasks being given, and you are taking the time to process the information into actionable items, if needed.
Verify details and try to avoid making any assumptions about meaning or intent that isn’t clear. Taking the time to ensure you are hearing the same message they believe they are delivering will keep communication open, help avoid potential misunderstandings and mistakes, and alleviate so many frustrations for you both in the long run.
Be transparent — communicate early and communicate often.”
When stressful situations or conflicts at work arise, how should a direct report communicate with their manager to maintain that foundation of trust and resolve issues quickly?
Be transparent — communicate early and communicate often. I suggest sending an email, giving bullet point details of what is happening or what took place and then ask for time on their calendar to discuss on a call. This way they have some time to absorb the information prior to your conversation. Take a moment to self-reflect before contacting your manager. Don’t be afraid to admit to the part of the conflict or situation that you are responsible for. They will appreciate your honesty and won’t be blind-sided by only having half of the story if the situation escalates.
Make sure you provide all the facts, both positive and negative so they can make a fully informed decision on the right direction to proceed. Also, be prepared to present several possible solutions to the situation. Being proactive about ways to resolve a conflict or how to alleviate the stress will show you have put time and thought into next steps. They may direct you down a different path, but just the fact that you’ve taken time to think through how to address the situation goes a long way towards establishing that foundation of trust.
DAT matches freight for shippers, brokers and carriers as well as provides deep data insights across the supply chain.
What is the best question to ask a new manager to get to know them?
“How can I help you?”
This serves two purposes: First, it ingratiates you to your new boss because the number one thing every manager wants to hear is “I’m here to help make your life better and make the company better.” Second, when they answer your question, they will give you an idea of how they think, what their priorities and concerns are and how they see you helping.
There’s a confidence that you build with your boss when your initial message is some version of “I’ve got you covered — let me carry the load.” Your boss will immediately start to feel they can rely on you. Ultimately, your work product will prove them right or wrong, but the one-two punch of confidence and deference is a stress reliever for them; and in my experience, the degree to which you relieve your manager’s stress will determine why, when and how well they will reward you.
Your ultimate ability to take ownership and execute will create camaraderie and inspire them to open up interpersonally. Over time, the relationship will evolve and will reveal even deeper insights into how your boss approaches work and life.
What’s one action a direct report can take to build trust with a new manager?
The best way to earn trust is to demonstrate that you can handle a big lift with a lot of visibility. The moment you do that — even once — your boss will think “This person can deliver and exercise good judgement without needing to be babysat.” That is how trust is built.
So, how do you opt into a higher-visibility, bigger project or task? That depends on your role. If you are a senior manager or director, those types of projects will be in your purview early on. If you are more junior, you might have to feel it out a bit and wait until there’s something you know you can handle that might not be asked of you first. Once you see an entry point, take the initiative and say “Why don’t you let me handle that for you?”
Whatever the task, it should add real value to your boss and your team, and have more eyes on it than your role normally would. Why is visibility critical? Because it forces you to consider multiple audiences’ viewpoints, it forces you to communicate with audiences of varied tenure and it proves you are not someone who hides in the shadows, and that you can take center stage and deliver.
Do this, and you’ll be the new hero.
Your ultimate ability to take ownership and execute will create camaraderie and inspire them to open up interpersonally.”
When stressful situations or conflicts at work arise, how should a direct report communicate with their manager to maintain that foundation of trust and resolve issues quickly?
The key is to separate the stress from the business problem. Never make it emotional — it’s a credibility killer. Conversely, maintaining an even keel is a credibility builder.
First, decide if the problem even requires your manager, or if you’re just annoyed and want someone to make it better for you. If you do need to involve your manager, set a contextual and fact-based stage; don’t say “Today, such and such happened, and it’s frustrating.” Start at the beginning so they know what you’re talking about, and lead up to the real time status.
Tell them why you need them, and in the context of risk. “I would normally handle this, but I need your help because, without it, the project fails.” Be clear about what you need them to do or about the options and the risks or benefits of each. Do not say “What do you think we should do?” Say, “I think we can fix this if you do this” or “I think we have two options: one is this way and two is this way.” Your manager shouldn’t have to work the problem for you — that’s your job. You just need their authority or insight.
If you find that you need to be emotional, keep it brief and light: “Would it be all right if I just whined for a second?”
